Born Free Weird Kindle Books

[The Hooded Claw]

Come on, HC, give us some comments on Brit's books.  Please.

I think maybe Scarlet is working up some good ones....Hopefully she'll post 'em!

Offhand comments--

Beethoven's Hair....Maybe this is the book that explains how Beethoven, Einstein, Dr. Emmett Brown (the mad scientist in the "Back to the Future" movies), and Rotwang (bonus points to anyone who knows who that is without googling it) all got their crazy hairstyles?

If I were an Evil Overlord....Nothing at all wacky about that, doesn't everyone want to be an evil overlord?  (And Scarlet, The Hooded Claw appreciates your fealty and you will be suitably rewarded once our evil schemes come to fruition!)

People Who Don't Know They're Dead....My mind boggles at this one....I'm tempted to ask if this is a book about people who never read or travel....Or maybe who only watch network prime time television and think it is wonderful....Or any of a thousand possibilities, so many choices, so little time.

I'm hoping Scarlet has posted her comments while I was writing this.....

[telracs]

I modified my last post with my comments about the evil overlord book, but I was thinking about Beethoven's Hair.  Maybe that's where Brendan got the idea for Tempo Rubato, but he didn't want to use Beethoven and went with Mozart instead. 

And for the unsuspecting unknowing dead, just push 'em in front of a subway car and they'll get the message, methinks. 

[telracs]

Well, this title is supposed to be funny, so it doesn't count as much as something that doesn't know it's funny.  But it's still weird.  From the book description, I actually suspect I agree with her comments on some current trends in 'tweens.



Laurie Notaro appears to be a writer like Chris Moore in an earlier edition of these weird books.  She has a horde of books with unusual titles.  Still, any book that gets Hell, sewer pipes, beauty queens, and big trouble all in one title has to be weird!
what I love is that she only thinks there's a "slight" chance she's going to hell.


Laurie Notaro comes through for us again.  I'm not much for this kind of book, but even so the book description almost makes me want to read this one, especially the advice given to a cat about to go to the vet!



Okay, Laurie Notaro is making me lazy.  I am going On the Wagon, no more Laurie Notaro titles will be used in these....At least until I run out of other easy books to skewer.



Ahhh....A Notaro-free title!  This actually sounds interesting, and I was thinking about ordering it till I read the comment of one reviewer who did a little fact-checking with people from some of the countries mentioned.  I don't want to put too much weight on one review, but that makes me nervous.



The Hooded Claw is relieved to know that scientists or diplomats who want to know what may happen when aliens arrive can find out everything they need to know just by looking over the postings on Kindleboards!  What a relief to know there is an easy way to understand these things.

[Anju No. 469]

scarlet I think that thin air in Peru got to you 

[The Hooded Claw]

actually the book choices and most of the comments are mine, not Scarlet's!  Her comments are in red. After I sniveled about using the link generator Scarlet volunteered to post links for me as a community service. Or as a public nuisance if you prefer to think that way!!!

[telracs]

scarlet I think that thin air in Peru got to you 

giggle.  i've always been a little light headed, Anju.

actually the book choices and most of the comments are mine, not Scarlet's!  Her comments are in red. After I sniveled about using the link generator Scarlet volunteered to post links for me as a community service. Or as a public nuisance if you prefer to think that way!!!

I think of it as counting towards my needed points to enter the henchmen's union (Dr. Horrible anyone?).  I'm good at coming up with answers to other people's comments, but not finding stuff, so I let Hooded Claw do the thinking and I do the linking.

[kevindorsey]

I like these kind of weird titles, they get my attention.

[Britt]

Laurie Notaro appears to be a writer like Chris Moore in an earlier edition of these weird books.  She has a horde of books with unusual titles.  Still, any book that gets Hell, sewer pipes, beauty queens, and big trouble all in one title has to be weird!
what I love is that she only thinks there's a "slight" chance she's going to hell.

I love Laurie Notaro! I just read Flaming Tantrum of Death not too long ago. She is absolutely hilarious.

[Britt]

I like these kind of weird titles, they get my attention.

Another one for ya —

[The Hooded Claw]

Maybe this is the book that explains how Beethoven, Einstein, Dr. Emmett Brown (the mad scientist in the "Back to the Future" movies), and Rotwang (bonus points to anyone who knows who that is without googling it) all got their crazy hairstyles?

I don't imagine anyone was losing sleep over it, but here is a closeup of Rotwang:



As you can see, Rotwang has "interesting" hair also.  He's the mad scientist in an old movie I really like, Metropolis.  Made in 1926 or thereabouts, and the special effects are still amazing!!!  But why does Rotwang make me think of Steve Martin?!

[telracs]

Another one for ya —

Okay, my question is, is the book in Ukrainian, or do they mean tractors in the Ukraine?  And why just a short history, is there too much to tell us?

[telracs]

This book is weird on several levels.....One is the title of "Ten Cents War". Huh?! Another is the notion of a war between Peru and Bolivia vs. Chili. I suspect Eurocentric North Americans will probably be a bit bumfuzzled by that. Finally, and best of all, is that this is a war that was fought over BIRD POOP!!!! It's totally true, it was immensely valuable for fertilizer and explosives back in the late 19th Century. So these three countries fought a war over bird poop, and nobody even thought that was a totally unreasonable idea! The idea of $88 for a digital book on a very obscure subject is a bit weird, now that I think of it. (thanks to Scarlet for sparking the train of thought that lead me to seek this book out).
See, here's the story....  I was in Peru on vacation.  One of the places we visited was the Ballestas Islands.  When THC was looking at photos from the trip, he asked what the crane looking thing in the photo was.  Well, it's for use in collecting the guano left by the gazillions of birds on the islands.  It's still used for fertilizer and is one of Peru's biggest exports.

[telracs]

She's twenty-something, and her boyfriend is 600 years old. Is that wrong? Others in the series include Stakes and Stilettos, and Bitten and Smitten (which wins the Claw's award for best title he's seen this week!).
For some reason, I find it interesting that the author is Canadian



The main title on this one just strikes me as funny. Makes me think of how in my job (where I supervise a group of people who inspect people's compliance with very technical and complex safety regulations) we always say that if someone greets us with "We're so glad you are here!!!!" we need to turn around and leave at a run.
I'm more interested in how you "church" a teenager.



This is an amusing title, but I suspect it will zoom right over the heads of under-thirty Kindlers (not to mention anyone from outside the US). Yep, Wikipedia says Charmin stopped using this ad in 1985. Those who wonder what I'm talking about, or those who know, but want a reminder should squeeze this....I mean click this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0yG-y8poTLU&feature=PlayList&p=814FE305F0DB243F&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&index=1

Is it any wonder The Hooded Claw grew up to be a melodrama villain after being bombarded with this stuff all day, every day in his formative, sensitive years?

trivia note:  Adam Savage of Mythbusters supposedly got his start as Mr. Whipple's sidekick in one of these ads.

[telracs]

We have a dedication for our first one today---
Okay, this first weird book is a dedication for Anarel, as promised in posts 21 and 27 of the thread link here:

http://www.kindleboards.com/index.php/topic,15812.25.html

I don't know Anarel, but she appears to be a vampire fan, and it was pretty easy to find a weird vampire book on the Kindle (scroll back a few posts for another good one from the other day). Anyone who has the least interest in vampires has surely spent some time daydreaming about what it would be like, what you would do, what clever tricks you'd employ to protect your Earth while you are sleeping in it.....Well, here is excellent fodder for such imaginative sessions, plus some practical hints for new vampires. My only question is whether my Kindle will go with me when I turn gaseous and try to smokily slither between the base of the door and the hardwood floor!

The New Vampire's Handbook: A Guide for the Recently Turned Creature of the Night (Kindle Edition)


I've been wondering how to recharge my kindle from my coffin. Or how I'm going to read in my coffin without getting my pretty white kindle dirty.

Hope you enjoyed your dedication Anarel!  I'm gonna be looking for those folders (or tags or whatever they are).

[telracs]

For those of us who have looked up from our Kindles to the Silver Screen, we've surely noticed that
Zombies are back in style in the movies. Lots of zombie movies coming out recently. Naturally, this makes the more worried of us nervous about what we'd do if the zombies trundled off the movie screen and into real life....Well, this book will solve all your problems:



scarlet has decided that if zombies take over the world, she doesn't want to know how to survive, she plans on jumping in front of a subway.


Maybe Superman will save us from the zombies? Of course, every boy wanted to be Superman while growing up. Like everything else, the government has an informative pamphlet to help. Nestled in amongst the booklets on testing your home for radon, how to get your passport, and of course a zillion IRS workbooks, is this little gem for new Superheroes. Our government has even made it available on Kindle!

 

And since we're on Superman, the recent trend of trying to prove all our heroes have feet of clay is applicable even to him. It seems he might have been a Commie or a Nazi! Or worse, ENGLISH! (note, book below not available on kindle, this is link to the DTV).

[telracs]

And to wind up this list of fanastically-weird titles driven by zombies and superheroes, let's close up with a book on conventionally-weird topics. You know, like absinthe and flamethrowers. Stuff the average person has around the house....
it's interesting that i'm watching mythbusters while busting this.

[The Hooded Claw]

Super cool, thanks for making the links and posting these, Scarlet!

Of course, Superman arguably was an open Commie.  See SUPERMAN--RED SON



Note that this is just the image of the cover of the DTB....Weirdly, this is not in Kindle, but this graphic novel _IS_ available as an audio CD!!!  

[Susan in VA]

Some of these entries are hilarious.   Some are deeply disturbing.   Many are both.   

Thanks to the posting team for finding so many and taking the time to share.

[telracs]

And here are tonight's entrees...



This is too easy, since it is written to be funny and a bit weird, but I still can't resist that cover illustration!
The funny thing about this is that I actually saw this one when I was doing links for the last set and almost posted it.



Again, self-consciously weird and maybe even offensive. Still pretty weird, and I hope he's kidding about the movie tie-in!

[telracs]

At least I don't think the title on this one is intentionally weird, it is just intended to be a quirky book of essays. I just realized that if you take a traditionalist view of the afterlife, this book title fits in suprisingly well with the previous book!


Using all these intentionally funny books is actually cheating, but I can't resist using this one anyway, if only to share with all my fellow Kindleboarders that, thanks to this book we now know who the world's greatest human is. I'd been wondering about that so much I've lost sleep over it! Glad that's settled.



Another self-consciously odd title, but it appears to be a genuine book of interviews with people who have beliefs most of us would characterize as zany.
I try never to characterize other people's beliefs, after all, they may really be living next to a dragon.

[telracs]

In dealing with the zombie survival guide last night, I discovered that there is a whole genre of writers toiling away in their little zombie literature ghetto with books like this.....To me it is at best a funny-once joke.
I amazed it took us this long to post this one!



We will wind up with one book that appears to be totally serious. As an Abe Lincoln fan, The Hooded Claw is aware of this plant, and it really did kill Abe Lincoln's mother!


For those of you who are still following this thread, The Hooded Claw thanks you for your attention, but he is going to take a break for awhile....Not only does he need a break, but poor Scarlett is about to get carpal tunnel from making up all these links! We may try it again in a few weeks, if Scarlet doesn't get a better job as evil henchperson with Lex Luthor or The Penguin!
The only Lex Luthor I would go to work for is John Shea.  And I would never go to work for the Penguin.  Possibly the Riddler....

[The Hooded Claw]

Thanks for posting those Scarlet!

This is enough of these for now, but we'll do this again later.....After the people here on the Board have let their guard down!

[telracs]

Thanks for posting those Scarlet!

This is enough of these for now, but we'll do this again later.....After the people here on the Board have let their guard down!

*Pout!*  I want more!  Man, I guess I'll have actually find some for myself.  But The Hooded Claw comes up with better captions....

[telracs]

My evil overlord has returned from his short stay in Arkham (or has at least been able to access the internet from there), so we hereby present a new list of "weird" kindle books.  Selections and comments in black by The Hooded Claw, comments in red by me.

  The weird thing about this is that it is clearly some sort of error.  How could one POSSIBLY "love books too much"?  Isn't there a button to notify Amazon of problems like this? I just want to say that I love the cover of this book.

  Okay, I've read several books on the history of the English language, but a history of a book on correct writing format?  Even The Hooded Claw, a thoroughly twisted melodrama villain, finds this book too twisted for him!  Methinks "slightly obsessive" is a bit of an understatement.

Okay, you caught me....This isn't really particularly weird, but the title quote is so d@mn funny I had to put it in this list anyway.  If you pass a person on the street who is smiling, this book may explain the reason

and I'd like to present the follow up


I hate to admit it, but I didn't know who Heidegger was (and I still don't know how to pronounce it!).  Anyway, I think this qualifies as a weird title.  Weirder than another title by the same authors of "Plato and a Platypus Walk Into a Bar"!  I think this one could have used more alliteration:  "Heidegger and Hippo Hoof it Heavenward" anyone? FYI- it's high-digger.  and hoof it heavenward doesn't work for me, how about hie to heaven?

This book was Amazon's "best of the month" for February, 2009.  Sounds promising, hey?  But on reading the Amazon description, I see this is a book about how we can and should be inspired by the way some philosophers died.  With apologies to all the philosophy buffs out there, I have to say my eyelids start drooping just when philosophers are discussed as a topic.  And when you talk about how philosophers died, I'm afraid my forehead starts banging the keyboard.  Not to mention that it just sounds morbid!  If anyone here has read the book, and wants to post an eloquent defense of it here, go for it.  The Hooded Claw stands in favor of free speech, even if he does aspire to be an evil overlord! snore... sorry, was somebody talking? 

Okay, I admit that this title isn't weird.  Very mundane and droll, actually (though potentially interesting).   Slightly weird is the fact that it sells for $160 on the Kindle!  I guess you could argue that is only 25 cents per printed page, and in any case, it is a lot cheaper than the engineering book I listed in the first iteration of weird books (over $7000!).  But what struck me as amusing was the thought that if I sold someone a faked copy of this book, would the faked copy help them figure out that they didn't get a real one?
do not one click on this one!


The polite young men in white uniforms are here with their butterfly nets, and telling me it is time to get back in my straitjacket, so I'm off for now.  If Scarlet doesn't get weary of posting the links for these, I'll be back with another installment when I can break out of my cell again.....
just remember my motto--"some days it's just not worth chewing through the restraints.

[geneven]

I read in I think Will Durant's The Story of Philosophy that Sir Francis Bacon died after stuffing a chicken with ice in an experiment, and also that when Voltaire was dying they called for an Abbot, but Voltaire wasn't a believer, so he croaked out "who are you from?" The Abbot said, egotistically, "from God, my son." Voltaire had enough breath to ask, "may I see your credentials?" But died before any reply could be made.

So I have enjoyed stories about the deaths of philosophers! Philosophers after all have been historically concerned about the meaning of life, and how they meet death should in theory be revealing.