Gary's First Time and Other Stories & No Kissing, No Touching

[Asher MacDonald]

I put up a couple of shorts on Amazon.

Gary's First Time and Other Stories is four pieces. Gary's First Time is the story of a middle-aged man who mistakenly gets arrested for domestic violence and decides why not? why not take up a life of crime and rob convenience stores. What could possibly go wrong?

The other stories in this short include a couple of pieces of flash fiction -- one about a man who would rather turn his food into art at a diner and the waitress who is fascinated watching him carve up his pancakes, and another piece of flash about a husband who is trying to explain to his wife just how the police managed to find him in the neighbor's bushes with his pants down. I like to think of it as flasher fiction.

The last piece is an excerpt from a longer work about a recently divorced man who decided he would go the Russian mail-order bride route. He's at the airport in a bar while he waits for her plane to land, never having met her. He's a bit nervous. He told her he was a dentist. He's really an exterminator. He's hoping she won't notice that his work van he will drive her home in has a giant plastic cockroach on the roof. He's trying to explain all this to someone while he waits.

No Kissing, No Touching is erotica. It's playful and not extreme, but it is adult content. It's about a young couple and the payoff to a bet.

Gary's First Time and Other Stories - $0.99
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B004F9P7CI

No Kissing, No Touching - $0.99
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B004FPYO2G

I hope I'm doing this right. I haven't figured out how to get the covers to appear in sig but that's ok. If I've done something wrong, please let me know, mods.

[Ann in Arlington]

Welcome to KindleBoards, Asher, and congratulations on your book.

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[Asher MacDonald]

I haven't bumped this in awhile. I'm offering Gary's First Time, a short collection of shorts, free on Smashwords with the following coupon:

UU97Z

There are four pieces in this collection. The title story is perhaps the one closest to being a genre piece. It's about a middle-aged man who gets the smart idea while in lockup on a domestic charge to hold up a convenience store:

"Gary did two days in lockup before Delores dropped the charges. That was long enough for him to lose his job as a non-union roofer, which he hated anyway, the boss being a round-bellied little mouth-breather who liked to short him a few hours of pay every week, saying he came back from lunch late, or was loafing too much, you name it, the guy wrote the handbook on being a jerk.

"It was also long enough for Gary to get the idea of swiping his dad’s gun and robbing some corner store, grab himself some easy money. Two days in lockup with all the other losers who couldn’t make bail. Two days of them one-upping each other, each trying to prove who swung the biggest dick."

"Love Only Goes So Far" is a piece of flash fiction, a bit under 1000 words. It's about a husband trying to explain to his wife why the police arrested him in a neighbor's yard with his pants down around his ankles. This one is PG-rated -- never fear.

"Texas Pancakes" is another piece of flash and...well, here's a short sample:

"He was using his knife and fork like he was a surgeon rather than a man having breakfast, carving off a very precise portion of his pancake. He seemed more interested in the pancake left on his plate than the piece poised on his fork. The counter girl, Madge, was watching.

“'I couldn't help but notice,” she said. “The rather odd way you eat your pancake. You cut it up so carefully. It's like you're a food artist or something.'”

The Amateur Bride is a longer work in progress. It's the story of a recently divorced middle-aged man and his very young Russian mail-order bride. In this excerpt the man is waiting at the airport for her plane to arrive, never having met her. He's sitting at an airport bar, confiding all this to a stranger. It's a light-hearted piece.

This short work, Gary's First Time and Other Stories is available at Amazon for Kindle for $0.99. The other work I have for sale is a short, "No Kissing, No Touching" and is very much an adult piece of erotica. I do think it's tasteful and clever, though perhaps my judgment isn't exactly impartial on this account.

I hope the Smashwords coupon works for anyone interested. And if you have an opinion about it after reading it, I'd love to get a short review or two for the book on the Amazon listing. Thanks.