Successful Indies Only, Please (note, tongue-in-cheek...) (merged)

[Mr. RAD]

Well, I've sold about 4 copies in total. Book has been published for a month now.

That qualifies as a sales frenzy in this thread.

[EStoops]

EStoops: Now hang on just a moment. If we're still on Monty Python, Patsy* is King Arthur's squire, not Sir Robin's. Clarification needed.


Actually, just a general joke, Iain. The Welsh are ALWAYS getting taken advantage of by the British, and that was my allusion. If it must be pythonesque, then Sir Arthur's Unfortunate Welsh Patsy is fine.

[Morgan Gallagher]

EStoops: Now hang on just a moment. If we're still on Monty Python, Patsy* is King Arthur's squire, not Sir Robin's. Clarification needed.


Actually, just a general joke, Iain. The Welsh are ALWAYS getting taken advantage of by the British, and that was my allusion. If it must be pythonesque, then Sir Arthur's Unfortunate Welsh Patsy is fine.

I think you'll find that's the Welsh being taken advantage of by the English.

Since Wales is in Britain.   

[EStoops]

I think you'll find that's the Welsh being taken advantage of by the English.

Since Wales is in Britain.   

My friend, English, claims that the Welsh are the WELSH...and therefore, through convoluted logic impenetrable by anyone not native to the British Isles, something about poor Welshies being permanently associated with sheep which explains their..... oh, never mind, I'm a stupid American and I like your version better, and will go with that. Yes, I'd like to be the poor Welsh Patsy put upon by the ENGLISH.

[Morgan Gallagher]

My friend, English, claims that the Welsh are the WELSH...and therefore, through convoluted logic impenetrable by anyone not native to the British Isles, something about poor Welshies being permanently associated with sheep which explains their..... oh, never mind, I'm a stupid American and I like your version better, and will go with that. Yes, I'd like to be the poor Welsh Patsy put upon by the ENGLISH.

It's TERRIBLY simple.

Everyone on the mainline island, is in Great Britain.  So they are British.  That's the Scots, the English, and the Welsh.

You then move up one, to the bits off the mainland, and that becomes the United Kingdom.  That includes the Northern Irish.  Who are Irish.  Or from Ulster, depending on their religious history.

But who are NEVER British.  Usually.

And then you have the smaller islands.  Like the Isle of Man, and the Channel islands.  Who aren't British either, but allow the British Parliament to stand for them in defence and international law.

Then you have the smaller islands, (Some of whom are bigger than the bigger islands) who 'belong' to the nation they are nearest too.  And don't have their own parliament, or laws.  They're Scottish, or Welsh, or English (and therfore by default, all British) by dint of the bit of the main land they lie next next too.

Unless, of course, it's the Zetlands.  Which was a wedding gift from Norway, to a Scottish Prince, as part of a dowry.  They are NEVER Scottish.  And get a bit annoyed.  They are Shetlanders, then British.  They skip 'Scottish' (on pain of a pub fight).

See, it's SO simple.  *tuts*   

[Danielle Kazemi]

I think I actually heard my brain go kapow.

[Iain Manson]

Morgan le Fay: Oh, you are an evil witch. But I am your half brother as well as your king, and I see through your wicked plotting. You suggest we produce a book which might sell "like hot cakes", you insult the noble but inexperienced jmoralee (title pending), and then you try to set the different parts of my kingdom at loggerheads.

Now listen, sister. My father's paternal grandmother came from Shetland, my mother's maternal grandfather from Dorset; my father is Scottish and my mother Welsh; I was born in Wales, but lived in Scotland from the age of a few months; and for decades now I have lived in England. I have it all covered, and your evil machinations will get you nowhere. (My fondness for sheep is evidence of the Welsh blood in me, and there will always be a seat at the Beige Bar for any lover of sheep.)

jmoralee: A seat at the Beige Bar is yours, John, but we're trying to parallel the Round Table, so you need a suitable name. Sir Lancelot (Mr. RAD), Sir Kay (George Berger) Sir Gawain (Danielle Kazemi) and Sir Robin (anne_holly) are already claimed, as are Squire Patsy (EStoops), Guinevere (Lyndawrites), Morgan le Fay (Morgan Gallagher) and Iseult the Sheep (Ben White). You can find a list of knights (by no means exhaustive) here. Choose one of these, or any other knight or other Arthurian character who might appeal.

[LadyHawk]

I do love this thread.

I'm stuck in the middle of nowhere in a tiny village on an island of Greece with only the internet to use as a tool. I spend around nine hours a day promoting myself and my books and to no avail.   

My books don't suck, and there's a huge marketplace place for this genre of fiction. But it's getting the word out. And no matter how many sales I have I'm still going to continue writing and publishing books. Unfortunately, the more titles I have, the more time I have to spend on promotion.


Those that have been good enough to buy and read the book have loved them, and thankfully stayed loyal. I've yet to have a bad review. But it's getting the word out there.

I dare not look at my rankings. And it's too darn depressing to check my sales.

so you've cheered me up to know I'm not alone.


     

[Morgan Gallagher]

Morgan le Fay: Oh, you are an evil witch. But I am your half brother as well as your king, and I see through your wicked plotting. You suggest we produce a book which might sell "like hot cakes", you insult the noble but inexperienced jmoralee (title pending), and then you try to set the different parts of my kingdom at loggerheads.

Why sire, I am only pleased that your noble blood also runs in my veins.  Forsooth, would you like me to fetch you some mulled wine?  Or a page boy?

*sinks to her knees, all grace and charm, her delightful eyes cast down on the cold stone floor*  

Oops.  Please don't let anyone stand on my eyes!  I'll sort that prose out in a minute!  Just off to mix some herbs to settle Arthur's mind stomach..

[jmoralee]

jmoralee: A seat at the Beige Bar is yours, John, but we're trying to parallel the Round Table, so you need a suitable name. Sir Lancelot (Mr. RAD), Sir Kay (George Berger) Sir Gawain (Danielle Kazemi) and Sir Robin (anne_holly) are already claimed, as are Squire Patsy (EStoops), Guinevere (Lyndawrites), Morgan le Fay (Morgan Gallagher) and Iseult the Sheep (Ben White). You can find a list of knights (by no means exhaustive) here. Choose one of these, or any other knight or other Arthurian character who might appeal.

Sire, one thankest thou for thy kind offer of a new name, but me thinks I shall remain with mine owneth for ye time being!

I'm currently on a quest to complete another tome that nobody will want to read.  Luckily there's a dragon at my door waiting to burn the manuscript as soon as it is done - just in case I was tempted to release it into the domain of humans.  

[Lyndawrites]

Actually, John, Moralee has nice rhythmic, sing-song ring to it, so I think you could be our minstrel. (Should it please my liege lord to so decree, of course)

"The tall dark knight he rode along, moralee, moralee, hey-nonny-no . . ."

[Iain Manson]

Actually, John, Moralee has nice rhythmic, sing-song ring to it, so I think you could be our minstrel. (Should it please my liege lord to so decree, of course)

"The tall dark knight he rode along, moralee, moralee, hey-nonny-no . . ."

jmoralee: I was going to say "Rise, Sir John"...

But my queen hath shown me the rightful path. Henceforth, thou art Moralee the King's minstrel, well beloved of all knights of the Beige Bar. May thy harp ne'er be silent, and thy books ne'er be sold.

[EStoops]

It's TERRIBLY simple.

Everyone on the mainline island, is in Great Britain.  So they are British.  That's the Scots, the English, and the Welsh.

You then move up one, to the bits off the mainland, and that becomes the United Kingdom.  That includes the Northern Irish.  Who are Irish.  Or from Ulster, depending on their religious history.

But who are NEVER British.  Usually.

And then you have the smaller islands.  Like the Isle of Man, and the Channel islands.  Who aren't British either, but allow the British Parliament to stand for them in defence and international law.

Then you have the smaller islands, (Some of whom are bigger than the bigger islands) who 'belong' to the nation they are nearest too.  And don't have their own parliament, or laws.  They're Scottish, or Welsh, or English (and therfore by default, all British) by dint of the bit of the main land they lie next next too.

Unless, of course, it's the Zetlands.  Which was a wedding gift from Norway, to a Scottish Prince, as part of a dowry.  They are NEVER Scottish.  And get a bit annoyed.  They are Shetlanders, then British.  They skip 'Scottish' (on pain of a pub fight).

See, it's SO simple.  *tuts*   

I shall explain right away to my English (and therefore British) friend that this philosophy about the Welsh (and therefore British) are somehow only ever Welshies is nonsense. I'll let you know how it goes....

[Morgan Gallagher]

I shall explain right away to my English (and therefore British) friend that this philosophy about the Welsh (and therefore British) are somehow only ever Welshies is nonsense. I'll let you know how it goes....

Ah, see.  You're mistaking 'how it works technically' for 'what the English thinks happen'.  Only in triumph, do Welsh, Irish or Scottish people, become 'British' then.

For instance:

"Scots tennis player loses Wimbledon Final"  versus "British Star Wins Wimbledon."

or

"Welsh rugby captain divorces" versus "British team win rugby cup..."

To be fair, it almost works in reverse:  "British couple lose Gold Medal" versus "England's Glory Team win Olympic Gold!!"

We really do need Merlin around here.  Much as I despise him, he is useful for explaining occult British myth...

[EStoops]

Oh I see. So "British Man Sells 350 million copies of book".... but if he were part of our group "Poor Welsh Author Can't Get a Break"

[jnfr]

I think I'll be the Black Knight. I'm over here with my legs chopped off and blood spurting out of my shoulders.

[EStoops]

Bandages for you, sir?

[jnfr]

o/~ Always look on the bright side of life, do do, do do do do o/~

[Mr. RAD]

Has this thread jumped the shark?

[jnfr]

As long as there are successful indies, this thread will live on!

[Debra Purdy Kong]

Well, I've have a productive week,

My rankings are now roughly #551,000 #480,000, and #440,000. I think that works out to about 2 ebooks sold this year so far. This truly is an amazing year...going out to buy my tiara soon!

[Mr. RAD]

Well, I've have a productive week,

My rankings are now roughly #551,000 #480,000, and #440,000. I think that works out to about 2 ebooks sold this year so far. This truly is an amazing year...going out to buy my tiara soon!

Thanks for the welcomed update, Kong. My little masterpiece is back above #400,000 again. With any luck, I'll hit #500,000 or so by the weekend.

[Ben White]

I think this thread jumped the shark before it was even created.  Now THAT is success.  Baa.

[Morgan Gallagher]

Oh I see. So "British Man Sells 350 million copies of book".... but if he were part of our group "Poor Welsh Author Can't Get a Break"

Yup.  Although for our group it would be....

Amazing Success Story of Welsh Author BBofS Award

versus

Shameful British Git Sell Thousands of Ebooks & Is Thrown Out Of Elite Group of True Success   

[Danielle Kazemi]

Almost at 600k ranking. Crossing my fingers and toes to break it soon.