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Edward C. Patterson
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« on: June 04, 2009, 11:23:23 AM » |
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At Brendan Carroll's insistence (see I'm blaming someone else), I'm opening this Poetry section for all to exhibit their wares. The request was that only Limerick's be posted, but I say . . . whatever. And be sure to use the spoiler block for all those PG-13, R and X-rated words that Limericks have been known to contain.
I'll begin. It's not mine, but my sainted Irish Auntie Mae's: (It's actually environmentally correct)
There once was a man from Boston,
Who bought a baby Austin,
He had room for his *ss,
And a gallon of gas,
But his balls hung out and he lost 'em.
Edward C. Patterson
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« Last Edit: June 04, 2009, 12:22:18 PM by edwpat »
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Brendan Carroll
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« Reply #1 on: June 04, 2009, 01:30:06 PM » |
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I have to start over because that posted before I was finished writing it.  I don't know what happened. I'll get back with you on this one, Edward.  |
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Meredith Sinclair
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« Reply #2 on: June 04, 2009, 09:45:52 PM » |
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I have to start over because that posted before I was finished writing it. I don't know what happened. I'll get back with you on this one, Edward. weeeeeelllll folks, according to the other thread this was gonna be Adult-ish in nature.... and I guess it holds true so far!  |
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 | The Apprentice Diaries
Hey, D'Lani Elliott is me!!! I helped Brendan write this book! Yay, Me!!
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Figment
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« Reply #3 on: June 05, 2009, 03:54:23 AM » |
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There once was a couple named Kelly
Who went through life belly-to-belly.
One night in their haste
They used library paste
Instead of petroleum jelly.
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Alors, sans avoir rien que la force d'aimer, nous aurons dans nos mains le monde entier. J. Brel
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Brendan Carroll
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« Reply #5 on: June 05, 2009, 09:15:04 AM » |
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Here we go for better or worse and I thought I'd try to keep it relevant to the forum. Hope Miss Miller won't mind: I once drank an Allagash beer, Cause they're very special, I hear. I awoke the next day In a big bale of hay With my eyepatch over my ear. I made myself happy!!! Don't shoot me, Miss Miller. Free publicity, remember!  |
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Meredith Sinclair
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« Reply #6 on: June 05, 2009, 09:25:03 AM » |
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Here we go for better or worse and I thought I'd try to keep it relevant to the forum. Hope Miss Miller won't mind: I once drank an Allagash beer, Cause they're very special, I hear. I awoke the next day In a big bale of hay With my eyepatch over my ear. I made myself happy!!! Don't shoot me, Miss Miller. Free publicity, remember! TOO FUNNY! |
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| The Apprentice Diaries
Hey, D'Lani Elliott is me!!! I helped Brendan write this book! Yay, Me!!
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KindTrish
Status: Lewis Carroll
 Offline
Gender: 
Northwoods of Wisconsin
Posts: 182
It is nought good a slepyng hound to wake-Chaucer
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« Reply #7 on: June 05, 2009, 08:16:44 PM » |
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In the Garden of Eden, lay Adam,
complacently stroking his Madam,
His was full of mirth
because on all earth
there were only two balls
..and he had them.
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 The question isn't who is going to let me; it's who is going to stop me. ~Ayn Rand Things may come to those who wait, but only the things left by those who hustle. ~Abraham Lincoln |
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Brendan Carroll
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« Reply #8 on: June 05, 2009, 08:52:02 PM » |
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In the Garden of Eden, lay Adam,
complacently stroking his Madam,
His was full of mirth
because on all earth
there were only two balls
..and he had them.
Oh, good one! Good one! But what the devil is it with balls? They aren't that funny, are they? |
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Susan in VA
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« Reply #9 on: June 05, 2009, 09:26:52 PM » |
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They aren't that funny, are they? Oh Brendan, Brendan.... you should know better than to post a straight line like that.  |
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Vivete con gioia e semplicità
State buoni se potete
Tutto il resto è vanità.
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Brendan Carroll
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« Reply #10 on: June 05, 2009, 10:24:11 PM » |
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Oh Brendan, Brendan.... you should know better than to post a straight line like that. Whoa! Are you preceding me around?  You made me forget my limerick and it was a good one too!  One too, are those numbers? Plague! Faith and begorrah! Okay, so here goes: Susan, who lived in VA Had an awful lot to say She posted and posted Until Brendan she toasted And he had to move far away! |
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« Last Edit: June 05, 2009, 10:32:39 PM by Brendan Carroll »
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Edward C. Patterson
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« Reply #11 on: June 06, 2009, 05:56:49 AM » |
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Oh, good one! Good one! But what the devil is it with balls? They aren't that funny, are they? Brendan: Mine are very funny. Let me see. Shall we make use of photobucket? Edward C. Patterson |
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Brendan Carroll
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« Reply #12 on: June 06, 2009, 07:20:46 AM » |
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Brendan: Mine are very funny. Let me see. Shall we make use of photobucket? Edward C. Patterson I'm removing this by popular demand. LOL. |
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« Last Edit: June 06, 2009, 07:23:47 AM by Brendan Carroll »
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Brendan Carroll
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« Reply #13 on: June 06, 2009, 07:25:24 AM » |
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As I was saying, Edward, I don't know how to use photobucket. LOL. Besides, my girlfriend thinks they are just plum ugly and useless, but I beg to differ. They must have some use... sometime... somewhere. Enough of that! |
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mamiller
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« Reply #14 on: June 06, 2009, 07:26:04 AM » |
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I knew a man named Brendan Carroll He drank his beer straight from the barrell His bike hit the curb, and he woke with but one word "#@$%*!" ...that's the end of the limerick. |
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KindTrish
Status: Lewis Carroll
Offline
Gender:
Northwoods of Wisconsin
Posts: 182
It is nought good a slepyng hound to wake-Chaucer
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« Reply #15 on: June 06, 2009, 07:40:47 AM » |
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There once was a lady upnorth.
Who 1-clicked a Kindle, henceforth:
she stalked delivery trucks
‘n spent way too many bucks
and now has a negative net worth.
Weak but I have not had coffee yet:)
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The question isn't who is going to let me; it's who is going to stop me. ~Ayn Rand Things may come to those who wait, but only the things left by those who hustle. ~Abraham Lincoln |
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drenee
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« Reply #16 on: June 06, 2009, 07:49:55 AM » |
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trish...too cute. I like it.
deb
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Cinderella is proof that a new pair of shoes can change your life.   Books read in 2012 - 20 Audiobooks - 10 WwF and HwF - DRA60 Miss you, Dona. |
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mamiller
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« Reply #17 on: June 06, 2009, 07:56:28 AM » |
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In the Garden of Eden, lay Adam,
complacently stroking his Madam,
His was full of mirth
because on all earth
there were only two balls
..and he had them.
hahahaha... that is truly funny |
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Susan in VA
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« Reply #18 on: June 06, 2009, 08:18:24 AM » |
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Susan, who lived in VA
Wow, immortalized in literature.... sort of. |
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Vivete con gioia e semplicità
State buoni se potete
Tutto il resto è vanità.
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Brendan Carroll
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« Reply #19 on: June 06, 2009, 09:50:46 AM » |
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he woke with but one word "#@$%*!" ...that's the end of the limerick. I said that before I woke up. Hey! Were you that paramedic? The one with the nine inch nails? The last time I rode in an ambulance, they charged my insurance $900+ and sent me a bill for $2200! The itemized list said they even used the paddles on me. Strangely enough, I was never even unconscious during the ride. I felt every jolt, every bump and every needle. They should have been ashamed. So I'm going to shame them here with this new limerick: Two ambulance drivers from Day-ton Pinned their patient to the bed with a nail-gun. When they got him pinned down, They both looked around, Then they robbed him like professional fel-ons. |
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WellAdjusted
Status: Dr. Seuss
Offline
Gender:
Alaska
Posts: 14
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« Reply #20 on: June 06, 2009, 10:17:45 AM » |
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Tis better thy drink with a blender
a margarita, oh yes that I'll send her
a bottle, a cork or a can
isn't as good for a ma'am
but I made a mistake on her gender
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Meredith Sinclair
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« Reply #21 on: June 06, 2009, 03:01:26 PM » |
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Tis better thy drink with a blender
a margarita, oh yes that I'll send her
a bottle, a cork or a can
isn't as good for a ma'am
but I made a mistake on her gender
Oooooops! |
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| The Apprentice Diaries
Hey, D'Lani Elliott is me!!! I helped Brendan write this book! Yay, Me!!
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Brendan Carroll
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« Reply #22 on: June 06, 2009, 06:54:22 PM » |
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Oooooops!
And ooops is right, Miss Merry. I haven't seen any of your sordid little rhymes on here. Come on. Out with it, lassie! I know you have a few stored up behind those baby blues. I dare you to share.  I'm quite pleased to see someone else appreciating a place to display their wares, so to speak! Good one from Well-Adjusted. |
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Meredith Sinclair
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« Reply #23 on: June 06, 2009, 08:09:09 PM » |
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And ooops is right, Miss Merry. I haven't seen any of your sordid little rhymes on here. Come on. Out with it, lassie! I know you have a few stored up behind those baby blues. I dare you to share. I'm quite pleased to see someone else appreciating a place to display their wares, so to speak! Good one from Well-Adjusted. You SCARE the beegeezus out of me!  I, I, I am inclined to stutter around peoples who have assasins and hobgoblins roaming free in their brains... seems like those characters are free to roam about the board here too, snarling and giving us that wicked grin with those emoticons  do tell why I should give you a limerick to read, I am a READER, not a writer... |
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| The Apprentice Diaries
Hey, D'Lani Elliott is me!!! I helped Brendan write this book! Yay, Me!!
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koolmnbv
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« Reply #24 on: June 06, 2009, 08:19:30 PM » |
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LOL some of these are too funny!
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